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How God Made Moms
By Erma Bombeck
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day
of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are
you spending so much time on this one"?
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec
sheet on her?" She has to be completely washable, but not
plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black
coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children
at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss
that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart,
and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one.
"Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem.
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to
see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are
doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the
back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even
though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the
front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and
saying that she understands and loves him or her without even
saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for
one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!", The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing
this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals
herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a
pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the
shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you
have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft", the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will
be able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched
the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with
this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much
into this one."
"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her
sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief,
and her pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You
thought of everything, for WOMEN are truly amazing!"
Pass this to all amazing women that you know...
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